Amy Sharp

First Day of Preschool

2009-08-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Bailee started back at preschool. I wish I didnt have to send her, but Momma's got to work. She was a little unhappy when we first arrived. Bailee learned she was no longer in the Butterfly class, but had moved up to the Bear class. Her response "I want to be a butterfly, they are pretty, bears are not pretty!" She saw some friends and teachers from last years and the fear melted away. Here are a few pics from the first two days. I let her pick her 1st day outfit.

Burney Falls

2009-08-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went on a day trip to Burney Falls. The girls did great. There was little complaining on the 1.3 hike around the falls. We had lunch, dinner and smores. We played a game of Sorry, the girls rolled around in the dirt. I lost the game. It was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday with my daughter and niece. They play so well together. Bailee adores her cousin Madison. Its so beautiful up there.

Pray for Safety

2009-07-19T14:49:00.001-07:00

These are pictures taken from my front yard 3 minutes ago. There is firing across the street. A lot of dry brush. I am asking anyone reading this to pray. For the safety of the fire fighters, for the family who property this is on, and for my family's safety. I was just told by a fire fighter, that they have a line around the fire, but are keeping a fire engine right in front of our house for safety.

It is very hot out there, fire fighters are so awesome.

What a Day!

2009-06-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

This has been one crazy day. My Grandma GG died last night. She had lived a long life and was ready to go home to be with Jesus and her husband. I will miss her very much, but I am so happy for her. Later I get a call from Placer County CPS. They wanted to make sure Bailee was okay. On June 7 Bailee was at a visitation with her father. He was drunk at a public pool with Bailee and was trying to force her in the pool. Someone called the police. He was arrested for Cruelty to a child, Battery, being drunk inpublic, he had a warrant out from Tehama county, and 2 violations for probation that he has in Shasta and Tehama county. He is in jail. I am so thankful to God for keeping Bailee safe. Philippe had many chances to get his act together. I want to thank all the people who have prayed for me and Baileee, through this. He wont be able to see her for a long time. I feel kinda weird. Happy, but a bit disappointed that he is going to miss out on an amazing little girl.

Back to Blogging

2009-06-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Just 48 hours left of working. Thursday @ 1:00 p.m. Yeah!! So excited. Bailee and I get to go to Mom's Group. I look forward to seeing my friends, the kids, and all the babies every week. The Stirring is Awesome. I started attending Life Group at the Gafner's. Lovin it. I have met new people. I love how the church is growing. I recently met someone at the Gafner's(thanks Sean and Rebecca for opening your home each week). Ray :) I am so happy. We both Love the Lord. He makes me smile. He sends me verses via text some mornings to encourage me for the day. God is good. God is Awesome. Well I am still working, on my lunch right now, but gotta go. I look forward to reading other blogs and blogging myself.

GOD is soooo GOOD!!!

2009-02-26T17:17:00.000-08:00

I realize now, what it means when people say, "God does things in His own time, not when you want." First the good news on Tuesday: I am not sure if anyone knew but, there has been a murder trial going on in Redding. The murder of my dear friend and brother in Christ, Robbie Scott Clark. His murderer Jerome Anderson was convicted 12 years ago and given life, recently he was given a new trial by the 9th circuit court(those people are crazy) so its been difficult, but he was convicted again of murder in the 1st. Praise God!!! What a relief for the family. I am so proud the way Robbie's daughter, Alia Clark, handled it all. Alia, my niece, is a member of the Stirring. She works with Stirring kids each week. She has a heart for God and her compassion even taught her Aunt a few things. The family kept trust in the Lord throughout this whole ordeal. Thank you, Jesus! Second great news happened yesterday. I received the recommendation by the mediator, regarding custody of Bailee. They have awarded me SOLE legal and physical custody of Bailee. AWESOME!! This victory is the product of a lot of hard work, a lot of prayer, a lot of trust in God, scripture, and doing what God has wanted me to do. At times, I wasn't sure if I would see a positive end to the pain. But in His time he answered my prayers. THANK YOU JESUS!! I want to thank all of you who have prayed, listened to me and given me advice. I wouldn't have made it without the love and support of my church family.

Blog Break

2009-02-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

After going back to work full-time, I had to put blogging on the back burner. Glad to be back. Things have been going pretty well. Life is exciting. Love my job. Met a man. (Yes, a man) Baliee is taking tap and ballet. The Lord is working in my life. I am blessed with friends. Thank you for all that have prayed for Bailee and I. I recently found out that Bailee was in the car, when her father got arrested for a DUI. I was angry, but then I focused on the good part, God watched over my baby that night. I have Him to thank for her safety and I am leaving punishing Philippe up to God. The past two weeks were a bit difficult, but I was able to manage with the love of friends, my life group and the grace of God. Here are a couple of pics.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2008-12-24T13:32:00.000-08:00

I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. This Christmas season has been different for me and I feel good. I didn't stress about gifts, I bought simple and stayed under budget. All my presents are wrapped and I am enjoying time with Bailee. We are kicking back in bed watching Cinderella, good time to blog. I was feeling a little down, my sister called and said she can't come to Christmas Eve at my parents(a long time tradition) because they are too busy with shopping and wrapping gifts. I first got angry, then I felt sad for the kids. I am looking forward to church tonight to see my family. I wanted to thank Dan and Nate for there messages about being simple and showing that video at church. The Christmas season will be different for me and Bailee from now on, but in a good way. In a few, we are making gingerbread, and making a special cupcake for Jesus' birthday. Bailee asked if she could ask Jesus if she could blow out his candle and eat his cupcake for him. That is Christmas. Enjoy this time with your loved ones.

Peace

2008-12-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

I was blessed today with peace from my Lord and Savior. I got a call last night from the principal at Mountain View that I had to interview with the Superintendent this morning and he would have the final word on me getting hired. I was a bit nervous. Prayed a lot. Woke up feeling great. The interview was a breeze and I was officially hired on the spot. Finished my paperwork, found out my fingerprints were still on file and I start my new job at 8:15 a.m. tomorrow. HOORAY!!!
At 1:00 p.m. today I showed up at the Shasta County Court House. At 2:55 I am still sitting and waiting in Dept. 5 to see a mediator to set up a temporary order for visitation for Bailee with her father. UH OH, the meeter. I tell the bailiff, he says hurry. I run down three flights of stairs to the parking garage and ran back. I am out of breath my legs burn and its our turn to sit with the mediator. My ex-husband has been drinking, the mediator makes a few comments. Holy Cow!! Who drinks alcohol before and custody and restraining order hearing?? Bailee will spend the 1st and 3rd weekends of the month with her Father. The court worked the pick-up/drop-off around my work schedule and The Stirring at 5p.m.(PRAISE the LORD!!) If Philippe smells of alcohol at all, she does not go with him. Bailee will go this Saturday, for a 24 hour visit. Thanks for all the prayers. I felt like a warrior today. I felt like I had the whole Kingdom of Heaven behind me(like the Verizon commercials) and there was no battle I had to fight alone. God's presence was in that court room today. I am thankful for my precious little girl, all the support of my church family and the Glory of our God Almighty

Bailee

2008-11-26T20:15:00.000-08:00

I am asking for prayers for myself and Bailee. Melissa and I recently met up with Philippe at McDonald's. Bailee was crying. It hurt so bad. I prayed over her for safety, peace, and a sense of security. I couldn't do the hand off, Melissa took that burden from me. My ex looked horrible. I know God will keep watch over my precious child. It is difficult, but I am with loved one tonight and trying to feel some sort of peace. Happy Thanksgiving.

I GOT IT!!!!

2008-11-25T11:29:00.001-08:00

I got the job at Mountain View Middle School. I start December 2, 2008. Thanks for all the prayers!!

Pictures

2008-11-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

Here are a few cute pics that Rachel took.

Twilight

2008-11-25T09:15:00.001-08:00

I have to say, I had a GREAT time Thursday night. I realized that night that I am comfortable in my own skin, when Iam surrounded by such a great group of friends. Thanks to all the Ladies who have been so kind, caring, and loving. Now on to the movie. I loved it. Of course it was not as good as the book, but I went into the movies with that kind of expectation. I have to comment on Edward. HOTTIE. I have been having dreams of the movie and especially Edward. Thanks Heather, Julie, and Becky for letting me tag along with you. Thanks Alyssa for planning this. I don't know about any other of you ladies, but it kind of felt like I was a teenager again, Chrisitina was the influence. Hanging out with a bunch of the girls, way past our bedtime to see a movie with a total hottie as the main character. I heard last night on the tele that they have already started filming #2. HOLLA!!!! I look forward to watching it with all of my friends. I also wanted to give a shout out to Nathan, Jeremy, Aaron for coming to see the movie. I sat in front of Nathan and enjoyed his comments. I am 3/4 away through book 4, loving it!

Prayer for my Daddy

2008-11-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

My Dad just let me know that he was headed to the hospital for an ultra sound on his legs. A wave of fear ran through my body. My dad has had a number of vascular surgeries do to blockage. Two in his legs. My dad is not the young buck he used to be. He is the most important man in my life. I am asking for those who read this to pray for my dad, Buddy Sharp. Thank you!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-08T09:43:00.000-08:00

I love fall. I am not a huge fan of Halloween. I don't like the evil, scary stuff. It is fun to dress up. I have decided to make a "family rule" that we will only dress up in happy fun stuff and Bailee can eat whatever she wants all day. Erica was so nice to lend me Adiah's old Tinkerbell costume. Thanks so much, Erica and Adiah. Her whole outfit: shoes, wings, wand and crown=$6 total. YEAH! I bought some black shoes from the thrift store and glued glitter all over them, they looked awesome and I saved some $$$. We had lots of fun. We started the night off going to get adjusted. Thanks Bryan. We visited a few family friends who gave Bailee huge goodie bags of candy. We went by the the Stickney's (Bailee adores Mackenzie) and they were so generous giving Bai a goodie bag full of treats and even playdough. Debbie gave Bailee a poster size coloring book(princess of course) with markers, washable Thank you Debbie :) We finally made it to Risen Kings carnival. We were there when they were closing so the workers started dumping handfuls of candy into Bailee's bag. Bailee got her face painted with a butterfly. Then when the carnival shut down, we went to the food room and Bailee ate 2 hot dogs. The night was a success.

What??????????????

2008-11-07T12:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, I was sitting here bummed out about not getting the 20 hr. per week job at Columbia. I call my mom crying. Her answer "I guess that's not the job God wants you at, so be putting yourself down" So, I prayed and cleaned(help take out anxiety) I go to the edjoin.org which posts all jobs for all school districts. I click on Columbia and I screamed WHAT!!!! They just posted a 30 hr. per week job at Mountain View(middle school for Columbia) I got posted like 3 hrs ago. Different campus and different people doing the hiring. My mom knew the job would be coming up soon. She is friends with the teacher who is need of an aide, hers just gave her 2 week notice. So, I am not sure what God is up to, why is trying me like this, but I have faith. I am asking for prayer. I just need to print out my resume, tweak my cover letter a bit and make copies of my letters of recommendation. This has brightened up my day. Please have me in your prayers.

P.S. I have bronchitis, feeling a little better, but the cough syrup makes me feel loopy and very buzzed, but at least I can get some rest and my parents are taking care of Bailee for me :)

Total Frustration!

2008-11-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

I just received a call telling me I DID NOT get the job at Columbia School. Just a few weeks ago I didn't get the job at Oasis. What is wrong with me. I am crying my eyes out and just don't understand. I am qualified for the positions. I feel so angry, I am trying to make sense of this. I know this is all in God's hands. He gave me this passion for children. I feel like a failure. I want to work, I NEED to work. I received a call yesterday from Oasis offering me a full-time sub position like I did before. I blew if off and told her I was waiting to hear back from Columbia. Well I just called her and they would like me to start being a sub right away. There is a part of me that fears going to Shasta County Office of Ed and do the paper work. I don't take rejection well. I really need to pray and leave in God's hands, but its hard. I AM FRUSTRATED!!!

Cleaning

2008-11-03T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I cleaned the Lance's townhouse they moved out of. I was lots of cleaning fun and I am sure I burned a few calories. There was one thing that bothered me. I couldn't get the glass shower doors clean, my kind of clean. I am sometimes a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning. I worked for a while trying to get the spots and soap scum off that glass. I wanted perfect. I finally got fed up and went on to cleaning the down stairs. I went home for a lunch break and some more cleaning supplies. The spots on the shower doors still lingering on my mind. I decided to google "how to clean soap scum off of glass shower doors" and i got a lot of results. I checked out a few, but most were trying to sell something. Then I came across this: use ordinary fabric softener sheets. WHAT!! I thought it was too good to be true. I stopped by the dollar store and picked up a box. I headed back to the townhouse with anticipation. I went straight upstairs and went to work. Oh, by the way the electricity had been turned off so I had a super dooper flashlight. IT WORKS!! SUCCESS!! I am proud of my work and hope the Lance's are too. Today was a very good day!

Happy Birthday!

2008-11-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

Growing up I never had a biological brother, but I did have Robbie. Our parents became friends over 30 yrs ago and he was a daily part of my life for over 18 yrs. Robbie was the brother I never had. His sister Melissa, my best-friend and sister in Christ, grew up in Shingletown. We were as close as any siblings. Today is Robbie's 36th birthday, but Robbie is up in Heaven. I know there is no age in Heaven, but Melissa and I are hoping Jesus is throwing him a little party. Robbie was murdered over 11 yrs ago. I miss him so much. I wonder what life would be like if he were still here. God had a reason to take Robbie home and he is in a better place, but it still hurts. There is a song by Green Day "Time of your life." Every time I here it I think of Robbie and the memories we shared. Tonight I will light a candle in his honor. This is dedicated to Robert Scott Clark, Happy Birthday! I Love you and miss you!

Punkins!

2008-10-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, Bailee took her first field trip on a bus to Shasta College to get a punkin. It was so much fun and very smelly. We got to visit all the animals at the farm and even act like cows walking through a little contraption they have to go through, time for new shoes. Just wanted to share a little bit of joy in my life.

Praise the Lord!

2008-10-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I received a call from Bailee's father letting me know that there would be an emergency hearing on Wednesday at 1:15 to change custody orders. I freaked out at first, then gave it to God. My Life Group was on Tuesday and they all prayed for me. I sent text messages out yesterday morning asking for prayer and Becky Moseley prayed with me over the phone just minutes before walking into the court room. I felt calm and at peace. NO fear. I felt God sitting right next to me, like He had His arms around me, protecting me. Our case was the first one up. The judge immediately denied Philippe's Emergency Temporary Custody change, saying that these things were for life and death situations. It was over in just a few seconds. Praise the Lord. We still will be going to court on December 1, 2008 which I am happy about. We will end up in mediation to get everything resolved and may be able to get our divorce finalized that day in court. Thank you for all your prayers, love and support. I love you all!

Trusting in The Lord

2008-10-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

Most of you know the situation that has arose in my life. I want to thank you all for your love, support, and prayer. The last two days, my ex-mother-in-law has been sending me emails. I know her words are from the enemy and trying to break me down. Questioning my Christianity and that I may not be going to heaven, but hell where I belong. She says she is a true Christian and can spot fakes. The words started to hurt, but God intervened. He said "TRUST IN ME AMY!" This a very difficult time emotionally, and I know the enemy is raging a war, well I am fighting back harder with the love of Christ. Jesus is my Lord and Savior, he protects me and my child. I know I must stay focused on His Love, and not caught up in the anger and bitterness of my ex-husband and his family. I feel God is telling me to be safe(that's also what a police officer told me yesterday, but I know God was speaking through her) I just ask for prayers for me and Bailee, especially for peace.

First Day of Preschool

2008-10-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

Here are pictures of Bailee's first day of preschool.

Helping Hands

2008-10-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

I sent out an email this morning to some Stirring Ladies about a young girl in need. The 18 yr. old lost her home last week in the apartment fire on Churn Creek. The out pour has been AWESOME!!!! You ladies rock!!! The responses were so quick, women offering gift cards and toiletry supplies including: shampoo, conditioner, soap, loofah, toothpaste and brush razors and shaving cream. WOW! The girl is going to try to come to The Stirring with me this Sunday. I am so excited about what we as a community are doing for her. THANK YOU!!!! so much for your generosity :)

Loving the Least

2008-10-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I decided to put a few extra snacks in my car to give to people I saw in need. While running errand in town I heard the song "Give me your eyes" by Brandon Heath. The words are exactly what Dan preached on Sunday. Check out air1.com for the words. I prayed for just that, God's eyes. I decided to take a small detour and drive by the Ross/Kmart parking lot, there was a man sitting on the grass. I stopped the car got out and asked if he needed some food. I gave him a small sack lunch. There was a lady talking with him. She told me she was from a church in Anderson and she came by to visit Bo every week. I told her I was from The Stirring. Bo said to the lady "that's it, those Stirring kids are who I was telling you about being so nice" I found out that I wasn't the first person from the Stirring to show Bo a little respect and love. How AWESOME our church community is. Taking these small steps will result is huge changes. I get so excited when I think about what we are capable of doing and how many people will see Christ's love through our actions. I decided when I go somewhere I bring my "love bag" with a couple of apples, bottles of water, granola bars and cookies. Nothing I can't spare and I keep my eyes and mind open to those Jesus says I am to love. It feels so good to help, even if its just a bottle of water.

I'm Back

2008-10-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

I am all moved in and have access to the Internet. I want to say thanks to Matt Hartly and Guido for your help and vehicles. I feel like I have been on another planet for the last week. The packing, moving, and excessive cleaning was exhausting. No Internet(my parents just got it on Tuesday) made me feel lost and out of touch. Terrible, I know. But now I am back and excited to be checking out every ones blog and doing a little blogging myself.

MEN WITH MUSCLES NEEDED!

2008-09-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am moving this week. Most stuff I can move on my own this week, but Ladies! I need to borrow a couple of your husbands for a couple hours to move my furniture on Friday. I will have my Dad's truck, but will need two more. That way it can all get done in one trip. I hate dealing with moving, so I will have my Dad here to coordinate. I will have cold water and yummy cookies. So, my dear friends, talk to your husbands and the strong men in your life groups. I am just a single mom with the ability to move a small box. Help is needed and will be greatly appreciated. Those who can help call me or email me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!

Vampires?

2008-09-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am on the last chapter of Secret Life with Bee's and I was wondering... does anyone have a copy of Twilight I can borrow. I have to see what everyone is talking about.

What a Weekend!

2008-09-22T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted after this weekend. Friday I made a side dish for the Stirring BBQ, and made brownies to sale at the Parking Lot Sale. I didn't actually make the brownies, I bought them from Ralely's, Betty Crocker made them, froze them, then I baked them and cut them up :) Bailee and I went to the Miller's for food and fun. We were up at 5 a.m. on Saturday. I must really love my church to get up that early on a Saturday. We made it to the parking lot around 6:45 a.m.(had to stop at Starbucks for some green caffeine) Saturday was long, exhausting, but fun. My mom came and picked up Bailee around 10 and brought me an iced green tea latte. It hit the spot. Meghan picked up some Subway for lunch and I was set until 2. It was great meeting new people and watching people buying Bailee's baby clothes. Josie, due that day, came out for some good ole bargains. Rebecca, Christina, and Meghan you ladies ROCK!!!! All your hard work is greatly appreciated. After leaving the sale I went and cleaned my chiropractors office, picked Bailee up and went home to take a shower and sleep. I spent most of Sunday packing. Bailee and I got to church early, i help greet. When we pulled up Bailee heard the singing coming from inside. She was so excited to see "Miss Rebecca singing" The music was great last night. Jenna and Rebecca were awesome. Nate's message was something I needed to hear. After church we went for Mexican with the Headricks and Gafner's(we missed you Rebecca) Thank you Chad and Angie for treating me and Bailee. I went to bed last night extremely tired and feeling so blessed. God is so good to me. I am so lucky to know Him and share his love with all the amazing people in my family.

What Was I Thinking???

2008-09-18T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of moving and came across a box of old pics. Go ahead and laugh with me. This is a picture from my 8th grade graduation. I am sure that the ozone was much thinner after this hairdo. My weapons of choice: blow dryer, round brush, and 1/2 can of Aqua Net. I hope all who see this giggle a bit.

Nick Wilson

2008-09-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

Three years ago, my nephew, Nick went home to heaven. On this anniversary of his senseless murder, I wanted to honor him. Nick was just 3 months shy of his 16th birthday when he died. He was an amazing kid. Nick lived in Arkansas with my older sister, Stephanie. Nick spent 6 weeks out here in California every summer. The last summer he was here I was pregnant with Bailee and living at my parents, while separated from my ex-husband. It was great because we spent lots of time together. Nick was extremely polite, always saying "mam & sir" He loved to skateboard and I dropped him off at the skate park almost every day. Nick was so excited to have another cousin. He was an only child and adored my two nieces. I remember we watched "Deliverance" and all the Dave Chapelle shows on DVD. It was a great summer. I miss Nick very much. Although, it is sad that Bailee never got to meet him, I keep pictures up, talk about him and let her know that we will see him again in Heaven. This is to you Nick.

My Little Gymnast

2008-09-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

With memories of the Olympics fading away, I wanted to share some pictures of my little gymnast.

SALE!!!!

2008-08-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today only! Tank tops are $4 at Old Navy.

The Disabled in Serbia

2008-08-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched a heart wrenching episode of Dateline NBC. It was an investigation into institutions in the country of Serbia. It was so hard to watch, but i didn't change the channel. When children are born with any disability in that country, the parents are advised to send the baby away to an institution, because the government offers no financial support if you keep the child. A baby born with down syndrome or cerebral palsy. They are sent to these overcrowded, rundown, poorly staffed prisons. They are kept in large cribs there whole life. Tied to beds, there tiny bodies never grow. There was one little boy, sent away because he had downs syndrome. Kept in a bed almost his entire life, at 11 yrs old he was the size of an average 6 yr. old. He could barely walk, showed no emotion and had never laughed. This breaks my heart. I have worked with down syndrome kids and their potential is amazing. My uncle has cerebral palsy. He is 40 yrs. old and goes to work everyday. He has many disabilities, but is happy and content. Had he been born is Serbia he probably would not be alive or would be living his years tied to a crib, never learning, never laughing, and never receiving his high school diploma like he did at Enterprise. I went to bed last night thanking God that I am fortunate enough to live in America. I am asking that those reading this blog will pray for those human beings living in conditions not fit for an animal. Pray for the Serbain government to change there policy.

They Really Listen

2008-08-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I feel like Bailee isn't really listening or paying attention to me. She proved me wrong this weekend. Bailee always talks about her birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's. For the last month I have been telling her that her birthday is December 28th. Her reply, "No, its at Chuck E. Cheese's." Well we were driving into town to buy a birthday gift on Saturday. I was talking about how fun the birthday party would be. Bailee shouted out "my birthday is Sesember twoney eight" I was so proud. All my hard work paid off. I know this may seem small, but it made me feel GREAT. Determination. It's funny how small things like this, bring such big smiles and warm feelings. I love being a mom and love my precious, Bailee.

My Best Friend

2008-08-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give a shout out to my best friend in the whole world. Melissa "Missy" Brown. Last week was her birthday. I met Miss 30 yrs ago. We have been as close as sisters ever since. She is Bailee's Aunt Missy and where Bailee gets her middle name from. She is 8 months older than me. Our parents are best friends. They met in L.A. and moved up to Redding when I was 4 to give their kids a better life away from the harshness of southern California. Missy and I grew up in Shingletown, lived next door to each other and spent every waking moment together. Missy had a older brother, Robbie, who was 2 yrs older than her. There are not too many memories I have as a child and teen that don't include Missy or Robbie. Missy taught me how to drive, that was an experience. Through all our ups and downs, good and bad we have ALWAYS supported and loved one another. We always told people we were sisters. We are sisters in Christ. When Robbie was murdered 10 years ago, I was there for my sister, caring for her and her children. When Dan spoke a couple of weeks ago, his message really touched me. About family and loving our family. To hate the sin, not the sinner. Though Missy and i share no blood as family, we do share our love for Jesus Christ. Our relationship is what I hope for all people. No matter what I am doing, feeling or acting, I know Melissa will always support and love me. She gives me her opinion, but does not show judgement. When I was in an abusive marriage, she let me know how she felt, but never made me feel worse. She let me know she would be there when I made the decision to leave and she was. I look back over the 30 years and thank God for giving me my sister, my friend, Melissa. Some may find it hard to believe, but we have never been in a fight. We have probably hurt each other some time or another, but have chosen to focus on the love. Really, we have fought for our relationship to stay this strong for all these years. The enemy has tried hard to break our bond, but we have succeeded. I wrote in Melissa's card "I am so thankful for the years gone and those to come, but most thankful knowing our friendship will continue on into eternity in heaven.

Pictures

2008-08-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

I picked up my pictures from Single Mom Saturday, tonight. I love them. Thank you Emily and Alyssa.

July 4th 2008

2008-07-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am laying here in bed, crippled and in pain. Ok, not too much pain; thank you pharmaceutical company :) I have been organizing pictures on my sisters laptop. Oh yeah, thank you Jamie for letting me borrow the laptop. I wanted to share some pics from my family's 4th of July.

Oh, I Don't Like Pain

2008-07-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

Well, its over. Surgery complete. I am alive and sort of well, started feeling the pain this morning. The hold thing was over fast and not too bad. I read Ephesians before leaving for the surgery center. I just can't help but feel pure joy after reading this book. I got to the place at noon was getting an IV by 12:30. I started feeling nervous and said a prayer, then the anesthesiologist showed up and made me feel great. I don't know exactly what he gave me, but I was sure God was answering my prayers. I was awake, but sedated when rolled into the OR. I said I was nervous and prayed out loud. The doctor gave me some more happy juice and the next then I know I see the inside of my knee on a T.V. screen while the surgeon points out a piece of cartilage floating around. I thought it was so cool, it was the drugs :) I went in and out of sleep. The next the I know I am in recovery and getting a cold 7up. My mom was there. The whole thing seemed like it lasted 5 minutes. I thanked God I was still alive and could feel my toes. I just started feeling pain this morning. My mom and sister had flowers and a balloon waiting for me. My sisters boyfriend,Cade, showed up today with a beautiful bouquet and balloon and sat and talked with me. Taking Nate's sermon from Sunday, I decided to put my opinions, bitterness, and anger aside and be kind and compassionate. It felt good. I have been relaxing. Reading, watching movies and being waited on by my mom and sister. My dad comes home tonight and Beckie Luff is bringing me dinner. What a great evening. I am in pain, but the pills make it manageable. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Please continue to pray for a speedy recovery and no pain.

Surgery

2008-07-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Surgery is set for Wednesday, July 16 at 1:15 p.m. Please pray for me. Thank you.

Single Mom Saturday

2008-07-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

I wanted to say a gigantic THANK YOU, to all the organized, planned, and helped out on Saturday. I am so blessed to have such an amazing church family. The love and support I receive, shows me how much God loves me and Bailee and how we are not alone in this world. It was a wonderful afternoon. Bailee and I got all prettied up for pictures, I can't wait to see them. I had an amazing lunch with awesome women of God. With a full stomach, I picked up my happy, fed, tired child. What more could a mom ask for. My BEAUTIFUL car. This is the cleanest I have ever seen it. The power of God's love is radiating from the community at the Stirring. Thank you, I love my family :)

My Everything

2008-07-14T08:15:00.001-07:00

The Stirring was awesome last night. Jesus is my everything!!!!

Surgery, AHHH!!!!

2008-07-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the meniscus. I have been doing a lot of internet research on my upcoming surgery. Surgery is set for next Wednesday July 16, 2008. I am glad to get it over with, but nervous about the recovery. I could be walking in 1 week or on crutches for 4 weeks. Thank you for all who have offered to help me. I will be making a phone list and using it. My Dad just called and he will be flying back from Arkansas Thurdsay evening, which means I might need a sitter for me that evening until my parents get back. I have Bailee taken care of wed. and Thurs. I am praying I will be able to hobble to church the next Sunday :) I am asking for lots of prayers, especially for a speedy recovery. I will be staying at my parents for at least 2 weeks. I just hope its not me and crutches for 4 weeks. My chiropractor did show me the bright side, my arms will get nice and toned, i know not funny. Thanks for the support.

Teacher for the Toddlers????

2008-07-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

I was getting ready for church today at 3:00 p.m. Yeah I thought it was early. Last week Bethany asked me to be the teacher for the toddlers every other week. I said yes. Today I was wondering why I said yes. I was feeling a little stressed, overwhelmed, and sad. My Aunt Adelle passed away yesterday afternoon and I am still dealing with the loss. Bailee and I had a late lunch, eating dinner type food and portions. Bailee didn't get a nap and I hadn't relaxed much all day. On the way to church @ 4:00 p.m. I asked God to show me that I was doing the right thing. Well, church was crazy. We had more kids in the toddler class than chairs. I had a helper, she played with the kids, but it wasn't like having Erica Williams. We both take the lead and help each other. It was wild. I had three very poopy diapers and poopy in panties, but instead of getting frustrated I laughed. The frustration on Trinity's face when she saw her dirty panties, melted my heart. I just encouraged her, while God was encouraging me. Through all the screaming, I felt pure joy. I love those kids. When parents dropped off crying kids, I stayed calm. The kids stopped soon after the moms were out of sight. Caleb had to tell me about his owie on his chin, while Austin kept asking when we could see the fan down the hall, pure joy. Watching Bailee try to sing and dance during worship, a mommy moment. Enduring the scorching heat, not so fun, but the joy when a child sees his parent walking up, awesome. The thank yous from the parents and the look of apprecitation, AWESOME! Signing up for single mom Saturday, finding out we get pictures done with our kids and lunch cooked my Sean Gafner, my answer from God. What is a couple of hours with a bunch of toddlers every other week, the least I could do for this amazing family of mine. Jessica Smerdon dropped off two bags of clothes for Bailee, THANK YOU!!!! I am so blessed. Thank you to all that offered your help after my surgery, I will be calling. I am still mourning the loss of my aunt, but filling all this joy really helps.

Where is Air 1???

2008-06-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else having trouble getting Air 1 on the radio? Did they change station numbers? I am freaking out, what happened to Air 1, 90.1???I

What are you trying to tell me, God??

2008-06-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely confused. I hope someone reading this can help me. Here is low-down. I befriended a women in my apartment complex when I first moved in 2 yrs ago. I was in a bad place at the time, recently separated and walking as far away from God as possible. I will give her the name "Mandy" to protect her identity. Mandy was a drinker and liked to party. For a couple of weeks I jumped on the party wagon with her. This only lasted a few weeks and I realized I was headed to a bad place and fast. I let Mandy know that I cound not "party" with her, but wanted to be a friend. She was not okay with that. She started harassing me, leaving trash on my doorstep, calling in the middle of the night, threatening me and if tried to fight me while holding Bailee(9 months old at the time) I ended up calling the police and she backed off. I have to admit when she would yell colorful words from her balcony, I gave her a piece of my mind using some words I am embarrassed to even think about right now. Soon after this incident a friend brought me to the Stirring and needless to say my life has gone on the right path. I started smiling and saying Hi in passing. When Nate was preaching about getting uncomfortable for God, I followed and gave Mandy a card from church and invited her. She didn't come, but she did start to change. Last October she called me and apologized for her behavior and told me she was clean and sober. I thought, what a great opportunity. We have been hanging out a little, but enjoying a cup of coffee at each others apartments. Mandy had a boyfriend who was a alcoholic and pill popper. It was a bad relationship. Mandy has a 8 yr. old son, whom she had around this man "Jay" I have been there is listen to her complain and cry. I have prayed for her, shown her scripture and talked about Jesus, hoping something would change. About 6 weeks ago she shared a secret about something her boyfriend had shown her son that was highly inappropriate and a form a abuse. She broke up with Jay and I thought things would be better and they were for a few weeks. She started "seeing"(not just with eyes, if you know what I mean) a few different men. I was concerned and shared the Sex sermon from the Money, Sex, & Power sermons of Nate. Things just got worse, she and her son have been staying with Jay. Knowing the kind of man he is I decided I can't be at her apartment and I can't have Bailee around that environment or Jay, who is an evil man and I feel a serious threat to children. I had loaned Mandy $40 for groceries last Wed. She got paid on Friday. I had prayed and felt that after I got my money I was going to kind of stay away. I felt God telling me I needed to get far away from her and her lifestyle. I called on Saturday and asked for the money, she said okay tomorrow. Well last night I call her and she says she only has a $50 bill I said, "I have change" This blew some fuse in her and she went off. I calmly said I just want my money and the clothes you borrowed, she cussed my out and hung up on me. I tried calling her and went to her door with no answer. While getting my stuff out of the car she started yelling horrible things with Bailee right at my side. I went back inside and cried. I don't understand, what happened. Saturday when I called her I did give her my opinion about having her son around Jay and how she knew he had been inappropriate. The boys father is in the process of fighting for custody and what she was doing could hurt her in court. She said thanks for my opinion but she had everything under control. I have decided to forget about the money and clothes. I am just confused. I felt like I was making progress and I feel like I messed up. I know I can't control anything and it is all in God's hands, but sometimes that is easier said than done. She has been calling my cell phone and cussing on voice mails. It is taking a lot of self control and prayer not to lash out.

Life, Death, and Everything Between

2008-06-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

I got up early Saturday morning and headed to the farmer's market. The weather was hot and sticky and the air quality "bad" I still wanted my blackberries, blueberries and peaches. I met up with my mom. We walked around enjoying the aroma of smoke :) My mom answers a call, the look on her face is not one of joy. She hangs up, "that was was Dad, Aunt Adelle has been put on life support and she is not going to make it" At that moment I felt all alone amongst the crowd of strangers. My breath was taken away, I started to feel dizzy, then I snapped back out of it. I felt the tears well up and was thankful for my sunglasses. At this moment a teacher my mom works with and her daughter walked up. I tried to engage in conversation, but felt like I was on another planet. Holding back tears we said our goodbyes and went on our way. Not wanting the girls(Bailee, Minah, and Madison) to see my emotions I whispered "Why?" to my mom. Her response, "your Dad didn't tell you this, he knows how emotional you get, but he talked to Adelle two days ago, he couldn't understand much of what she said but he did understand this "I ready, I don't know why I am still hear, Jesus is taking me home" That statement brought me total joy and total sadness at the same time. Joy, Aunt Adelle was going home. Yeah, how lucky she was. My selfishness thinking, "No" I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get enough time. A little history lesson. I didn't meet my Aunt Adelle until I was 20 years old. My Dad was disowned by his family for marrying my African-American mother. Finally after 25 years the family came around and I became close with my other side of the family. My Aunt lived in Arkansas. I didn't see her often. When I lived there we became close. The last time I was with her, see comforted me through the death of my 15 yr. old nephew. I love her and will miss her. I feel torn between the sadness of loosing her and the joy that she is going to meet her maker. The one thought that keeps a smile on my face is that one day I will see her smiling face in heaven. I think being able to prepare myself for her death is a good thing. I don't know. I do know that all of her physical pain will be over soon and she will be waiting for me up in heaven. With a thought like that who couldn't be filled with joy. I love you Aunt Adelle

Growing as a Christian

2008-06-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, finances have been tough lately. Last week I was short quite a bit for my rent. I went to Social Services for help, but it would be next week before I could get aid. I was stressed out and overwhelmed. I decided to really pray for guidance and strength. I was feeling too ashamed to ask for help. I swallowed my pride and went by the Stirring office and talked to Dan Lance about my situation. I walked in feeling like a loser, ashamed, and embarrassed. I walked out with my head held high and full of hope. Dan said he would contact my Life Group leaders, with my permission and see what they could do. It wasn't just about the money. Dan helped my realize that stuff like this, put the meaning of family to work. Thank you Dan. Friday morning Sean Gafner called(he and Rebecca are my life group leaders). First he just let me know how important I am to the group and what a blessing it is to support, pray for and help one of their sisters. Sean had got all the money I needed to pay rent. I was crying tears of pure joy. I felt encouraged not discouraged. I was seeing the power of prayer and Jesus Christ. I realized that my church family is there for me in good times and bad. This happens to be a bad time. Thank you Sean for your words, contacting the group, and the help. The blessing don't stop there. Last night it was my week to work with the toddlers. I saw Meghan Edwardson by the kids area and she said she had something for me, find her at second service. I usually download the sermon I miss, but go to the beginning of second service for worship(Bailee enjoys it too) At 7:00, Rebecca handed me an envelope with cash in it, I thanked her and hugged her goodbye. I admire my sista Rebecca as a mom, wife, and women. Bailee and I went to sing. Jenna and Emily were singing. Jenna is amazing, she brings such passion to the music. I didn't realize Emily was so awesome, you go girl. Sean talked about helping a sister in his Life Group(me) and tears trickled down my face. Bailee wanted to go on stage for Emily to hold her, but she was content on the front row. My friend Kassy saw the tears and came to give me a hug. She also offered to think about being roomates. I was blown away. Kassy is so sweet. She adores Bailee and is such a wonderful young women. Why she would want to live with a old lady and her kid? Only God knows. Just the offer was enough to give me goose bumps. Erica Edwardson took Bailee outside to play, so I could enjoy the rest of worship. Last I found Meghan, she had a pink envelope with my name on it, she said "someone dropped it off at the church office" I was headed outside, I stopped to open the envelope, inside was $50. I stopped in my tracks, crying again and prayed to God for thanks. God works in mysterious ways. Back in April I felt God telling me that I need to learn to ask for help. Well I have. I know that this may be my time of need, and down the road someone else will need help and I will be able give back the love that I have been shown. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and for the generous donations.

Pretty Pink Shoes

2008-06-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you Marty and Becky Moseley!!!! A few blogs ago, I mentioned that Bailee was growing out of her shoes. Becky asked if she could by some pink shoes for Bailee. Well, Becky brought them by and Bailee loved them. She is always showing them off, "look at my pwetty pink shoes" I heard Marty had a good time shopping for the shoes, causing him to want a little girl of his own. Thanks again Moseleys. Bailee really needed new sneakers.

Help

2008-05-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on my couch this weekend reading my Bible and going over notes from passed sermons. I have been feeling a little frustrated with my hurt knee and financial difficulties. I came across a list. Things I felt God was telling me I needed to work on. #1 Learn how to ask for help when I am in need or in pain and #2 Be willing to except the help and not feel guilty. I hear you loud and clear, Lord. So many people have been offering there help and if surgery is needed I will except the help. I am not in this world alone, I need to remember the family God has brought me in to. I try to take something positive out of a bad situation. This time of fear, pain, and uncertainty will pass and I have people to lean on. Thank you to all that care.

What's a Meniscus?

2008-05-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was started to squat down to help Bailee and I felt a weird pull in my right knee, followed by some pain. I woke up this morning in pain. I went into the doctor. He thinks I have a possible meniscus tear, which would require surgery. I have a MRI scheduled for Tuesday morning. I am not sure what a meniscus is, but I do know that it can hurt. I don't do well with pain. I am praying, that it's not that bad and it will feel better, soon. I'm trying not to get too worried and overwhelmed with thoughts of all help I will need if surgery is necessary. I will jump my hurdles when I get to them and know that God is there with me giving me a boost.

My Little Blessing

2008-05-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

Baliee is growing up so fast. The last two weeks have been such a joy. We have been spending lots of time outdoors. Going to the park, on picnics, Turtle Bay, and swimming. Bailee also graduated to big girl panties. She picked out Disney Princess panties and is doing wonderful. We have had a few accidents, but they all do. Yesterday, Bailee got to go potty outside. I didn't even know how to let her go potty without peeing all over herself, but Rebecca told me how(thanks, Rebecca) and now Bailee thinks it's cool. At Ultimate Frisbee last night, she spotted Caleb G. going on a tree and later asked me if she could go potty on the tree. As much as I miss "my baby" it is pure joy experiencing her growth. I love being a mom. When ever life seems to be getting, too much; I can look at Bailee playing and feel such peace.

Dead Beat Dads

2008-05-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why my ex- husband doesn't financially support our child. It baffles me. He calls me begging not to re modify the child support, because he is broke. My ex is receiving unemployment, which is more than working full time for 8.00/hr. He pays 114.00 a month, based on old and false information. Child support services says I will receive more $$ based on the new information I am providing, A lot more. Thank you, Lord! When I pointed out that his other child lives with the Grandmother and I support Bailee, he had the nerve to tell me that he has been helping out with his girlfriends son(he lives with her and her son). I wanted to scream some choice 4 letter words to him at that time, but with Bailee only one room a way, I whispered something I would rather not type. I caught myself before I got angry, took a deep breath and simply stated: "Your children come before everything else, but God of course. They come before your wants and needs, before Brenda's (the girlfriend) wants and needs. Before you worry about food, rent, car payments and sports for you, Brenda, and her kid, YOU need to take care of YOUR children. You only had to pay 114.00 this month, you spend more than that on cigarettes in a month. Stop smoking and help your child. Bailee is growing, She needs shoes and I can't afford them. If you gave up smoking for 2 days, you could get her some shoes." I then got off the phone. I didn't get upset and got my point across. I feel for all the other people who have to deal with crap like this. Praying gets me through it. I also want to thank all the people who take care of their responsibilities.

My First Kids

2008-05-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

Before I became a mother, I became an auntie. First, at the age of 13, when my oldest sis, Stephanie, gave birth to Nick. He lived in Arkansas so I saw him once or twice a year. He spent 4 weeks every summer with us from age 10-15. Even with the distance, we stayed close. He gave me the idea of two middle names for Bailee. The Last summer he was up, I was pregnant. He was so excited. Nick passed away in September of 2005. He is greatly missed, but in a wonderful place waiting for when the rest of us go Home. My sister Jamie, has two little girls, Minah(5) and Madison(4). Minah and I are very close. I love the relationship I have with these girls. I can spoil them and send them home hopped up on sugar:) Seriously, I know I have a huge impact on their lives. It prepared me to be an excellent role model when I became a parent. I just wanted to share about my love for my nieces and nephew. I love being Auntie Amy, but not as much as being Mommy to Bailee.

Tea Party

2008-05-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

Thursday evening Bailee had a tea party. I like to do something special on the night's before she leaves for a visitation with her father. Bailee picked out her dress, jewelry and high heels. I painted her toes pink for the occasion. I made minin grilled cheese with ketchup for dipping and sliced strawberries. It was a blast. Something you cant see in the pictures; she is wearing big girl panties. Bailee is very proud of being a big girl. The big girl bed, then panties.....whats next????? Makeup.....i cherish these moments, she is growing up fast. I must make the best of every day that God gives me this precious angel. I miss you, pumpkin.

The Mall

2008-05-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

This week the Stirring Mom's group was to meet at a park by Little Country. I got Bailee and I dressed that morning based on the sunshine pouring in my apartment. We were running late, and as I walked out the door I realized we were under dressed. I ran back in and got jackets. We got to the park and the cool wind was blowing. Jamie wrapped herself in a blanket as Leah shielded little Evan from the cold. The toddlers didn't seem to notice the chill in the air, Bailee took her jacket off. Erica made an executive decision and the group moved to the new play area in the mall, in front of Sear's. The kids had fun. Some mom's saw a different side of Bailee that day. She let out the terrible two inside of her. She was pushing, yelling, and threw a fit. At one point she try to push Zeke to keep him from on the slide, she did apologize. All in all, it was a pleasure to visit with my sisters and watch all the children, whom I have come to love so dearly, play. Looking forward to next week.....

Sunday:Funday

2008-04-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful day. Kid's Kingdom was so much fun!! I felt like a kid again. We played. Swings, digging in the sand, slides, climbing, running, catch, rolling on the grass, and catching catipillars. I did it all and it felt great. I sometimes get so caught up with stuff, I forget to let go and be carefree. I realize why Bailee sleeps so long and peaceful; her days are spent carefree and just enjoying each new moment. She has no worries to interfere with sleep. It was therapeutic to feel like a kid again, if even for just a couple of hours. Later Bailee and I went to the Stirring. It was my week to work in the toddler class. I do look forward to my Sunday's spent with a room full of 18 mon.-3 yr. olds and the always patient Erica Williams. It was a warm evening and never a dull moment. I decided to take Bailee to second service so I could hear worship. I am so glad I did, we sang a song that really touched me. I immediately thought back to the women's retreat earlier this month and singing the song in the cabin with 39 other women. I had to smile, because I could feel love. I am blessed to have family and be part of this family at the Stirring. Today was a good day. Thank you Jesus.

Age

2008-04-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and realized Bailee had slept in her bed all night. Wow, she is turning into such a big girl. I am so proud of my daughter, but as I face the reality that she is not a baby, I face the reality of me getting older. I just celebrated my 33rd birthday, shhhhh :) When I focus on the number, I think "Amy, you're getting up there. I start focusing on the lines in my face and sagging where it didn't sag before. I start comparing myself to the women around me, and most of the women at the Stirring are younger. I can find my self being judgmental and down on myself. I have decided this year to give my age insecurities to God. Wouldn't He want me to rejoice in my life, and cherish the many years I've been on this earth. So I will not focus on the "number" I am going to focus on the way I feel and appreciate that I'm not looking too old. Bailee keeps me on my feet and feeling young. We are off to Kid's Kingdom for some much needed fun.

Kool April Nights

2008-04-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

Well, Bailee left for her visitation with her father in Sacramento, so I was feeling a little lonely. Last night I, along with most of Redding, hit the streets to watch the parade of old cars and trucks cruising Churn Creek. Rebecca Gafner's parents had a large section of Churn Creek blocked off and saved. I met up with the Gafner's. Rebecca's family was there, along with the Brams and Leah Caldwell and boys. It was a beautiful evening. I was lucky enough to sit between Alyssum and Caleb C. It was a joy to watch the faces of the little ones. I happened to have goldfish and graham crackers in my purse(a mom thing) and was happy to share them with Leah's boys. We saw some very kool cars and trucks. There was a '69 or '79 Ford truck that had Sean standing. My favorite was a black car that had flames on it, but they looked like real flames, like the car was on fire. Caleb and I got a kick out of the yellow Honda pictured above. It also has the Sundial bridge on the back window. Sarah Bram pointed out a beautiful old purple car. It was for sale, for a mere $67,000. Watching the cars roll by, I thought about "the cruise" when I was in high school. I started thinking about the good old days. Later I found a card Caleb Gafner had picked up off the street and handed to be. It talked about how its nice to look back, but what matters is how good we are now. The card when on to talk about God, reading the Bible and a website to learn more info. I am feeling really good right now and I am growing as a Christian. Last night was comforting. It is nice to know, that I am not alone. I have friends to turn to and hang out with. I have family. Thanks Gafner's for your kindness.

Big Girl Bed!

2008-04-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

My baby is growing up. Monday, my father put together Bailee's new bed. Today Bailee, joyfully went to her bed at nap time. No arguing, no pouting and no asking "why?" Success!!!! Now I am praying for bedtime tonight to be as simple. I was excited to take the crib down, but at the same time it was sad. I was telling some of the other moms how I am attached to my diaper bag. Now that Bailee has made the step from baby to big girl, it might be time to hang up the old diaper bag. I must face the harsh reality. I don't have a baby anymore :O Really, I love watching her grow. Uh Oh! Bailee just walked in, I pottied. Yes, we have the first accident of the day. I must admit I am envying Rebecca Gafner right now. Caleb was having great success yesterday with potty training :)

Divorce Papers

2008-04-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

I just received a call from my soon to be ex-husband. He told me he didn't want to sign the divorce papers, but "something" was telling him to.(I knew I could count on you Lord) He took the papers to a notary and signed them. I get them at 3:00 on Friday. YEAH!!!!!!! This has been a very long journey. I filed for divorce May 23, 2006. He has made it very difficult for me. I have been doing a lot of praying, that he would realize he is only hurting Bailee. He apologized and asked for my forgiveness. I am not ready to forgive right now, but praying about it. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted, my ex is kind of large. :) It will be nice to not have to pay an attorney or go back to family court. I am so happy. I will be celebrating the beginning of the next chapter of my life. I am already feeling free.

My Baby

2008-04-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Bailee Melissa Marie Agostini, born December 28, 2005 at 5:20 a.m. Bailee is my gift from God. She saved my life. I love her so much. Bailee is very smart and sweet. I am not just saying that because I am her mom. Having a child changes your whole perspective on life. Before Bailee I was selfish. I only cared about what happened to me. Now, I put Bailee first. I realized that when you become a mother you give up the right to be selfish. I worry about Bailee growing up with divorced parents. We separated when she was 3 months. It is nice to know that we are part of a community and we don't have to do alone.

My first time

2008-04-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

Up to this point I have never blogged. It took awhile before I figured out My Space. I love reading the blogs of other people, so I thought I would give it a try. I'm not sure how I am supposed to start. This morning Bailee and I ate warm cinnamon roles and watched Dora. Bailee has learned two new phrases: "because why" and "but why" Where did she learn this stuff from. Now every time I ask her something she wants to know why. If I cant get her to understand why, then I tell her because that is the way God's want it and she seems pretty content with that answer. I look forward to the future when Bailee starts asking questions about Jesus. Each day brings new adventures and learning. I am so happy to be a mom.